Selfish—adjective–(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

My husband and I have been married for seven glorious years. I would like to believe we are soul mates, if that is something that exists. We have the same goals for our future and we have so much in common that it’s weird. The one thing we do not have in common is exercise. When I wake up at 4 a.m to workout, he remains blissfully asleep. When I leave at 6 a.m. on Saturdays to go running, he kisses me good-bye, gives me a hug and wishes me good luck. I could easily lose motivation and give up on working out, after all it is way more fun and motivational to exercise with a partner than by yourself. But my motivation for being fit is greater than that, so I decide to be selfish.

No one wants to be considered selfish. Even people that are selfish will deny up and down that they are if you point it out to them. When it comes to your health and your fitness goals however, it is okay to be selfish. I see so many instances of co-dependency between couples where they may start out exercising and eating healthily together and then one or the other gives up and drags the other one down with them. It doesn’t matter if you are married, dating, in a committed long term relationship, engaged. No matter the status of your relationship, allowing your partner to influence you not to be healthy, intentionally or otherwise only hurts both of you in the long run in my opinion.

When it comes to your health and fitness, you have to put yourself first. Yes it would be awesome if your partner works out with you and doesn’t eat a cheeseburger in front of you, but sometimes the level of motivation is unequal between couples and if they don’t want it for themselves, there is no amount of cajoling, begging or nagging that is going to make them go running with you or go with you to the gym.

Sit ups - fitness couple exercising sit up outside

Setting a goal for yourself and pursuing and succeeding in achieving this goal in spite of the lack of cooperation from a partner is the greatest feeling in the world. In the end, when your partner sees how well you are doing and how proud you are of what you have achieved by yourself, they may be more inclined to want the same for themselves as well.

We sometimes tend to put others ahead of ourselves and in some cases we do so to the detriment of our goals. This is the one time that you can give yourself permission to be selfish, put yourself first and make your health and fitness a priority because it’s that important.

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